Revenge on Bunk Seven: A Summer Camp Saga

(Aka, The Epic Shaving Cream and Water Balloon Battle at Camp Tioga Lake, Summer, 2000)

Introduction.

The story you are about to read is based on an actual event that took place back in the 80s at my beloved summer camp, Camp Ramah in the Poconos. It is also a work of pure fantasy, a composite, a made-up tale based on facts, but more based on fading, precious memories, a snapshot of preteens with few regulations or real restrictions, and young adults with an absurd amount of responsibility for the care and well-being of kids just a few years younger. In other words, camp! With camp season about to begin, I thought I’d share this story with everyone.

Prelude.

Sally took the blue, plastic flashlight out from under her pillow. It was the second to last night of camp.  They had talked about this all summer- her, Molly, Pat, and Luce (short for Lucia), and the other girls in their cabin. They were ready: Flashlight? Check. Dark clothes? Check. Total silence? Mostly. They had a map of the camp that Luce ‘removed’ from the camp office when she had to call home because she ‘forgot her swim goggles’. It gave them an aerial view of the whole camp, and key intelligence so they could figure out how to get from the ‘girls side’ of the camp to the ‘boys side’ without attracting the camp guards. Naturally, their target was at the furthest part of the boys’ campus. Sally was the leader, and even though she was on the shorter side, she just had the ‘leader’ quality. Not too bossy, but not a pushover. Molly was her bestie from home and Pat and Luce were new to camp but from the first day, they were an instant gang. Not that they were exclusive - they were friends with everyone, even the boys. Well, most of the boys. That is until Bunk Seven decided to play a prank, and that's why it was payback time.   

Chapter 1: The First Attack.

Flashback to the first week of camp, and the girls were getting ready to go to sleep, brushing their teeth, and cracking jokes, all while listening to the soundtrack from “Hairspray”, the usual. The girls in bunk 20 got into bed and their counselors, Becky and Samantha, were busy checking on everyone, saying goodnight. The lights went out, the counselors left and immediately the girls all got out of bed to hang out, play cards, and of course,  talk about the cute boys in Bunk 7. Then after a few minutes, there was a loud, “THUNK!”. The girls got quiet. “THUNK. THUNK.” Sally put her finger to her mouth and then pointed to the floor. It was coming from underneath the bunk. Then another, then another.
“Go see what it is,” whispered Molly to Sally.

“No way, you go!” Sally whispered.

“I’ll go,” said Pat.  Leaving the bunk after lights out was strictly forbidden, but Pat didn’t seem to care.

“I’ll go with you,” said Sally.

They tip-toed up to the door, meanwhile, the THUNKING sound kept going, in fact now it was louder and sounded like a few THUNKERS were making the noise. Each THUNK brought a shriek from the girls followed by laughter and more shushing. Some girls were genuinely scared, some were slightly amused.

Pat opened the door very slowly and looked around: No counselors. She motioned for Sally to follow. Suddenly, all the girls were outside on the porch, having gotten braver when they saw Sally and Pat go outside.

“What are you doing?” whispered Pat. “Get inside!”

“If you’re going, we’re all going!” said Luce.

“Fine.” Pat led the way down the steps. As soon as they got to the bottom, they turned on their flashlights.

Nothing. No one was there. Strange.

But then, just as they turned around, a bunch of boys, all in black hoodies, were standing on the girl’s porch. With water balloons.

“Surprise!!!” A simultaneous launch of red, blue, yellow, and green balloons hit their targets and the boys ran off shouting, and laughing. Even though they were all hoodied up, the girls knew exactly who the perpetrators were: Bunk 7.

The girls, all of them drenched, trudged back up the stairs, got out of their wet pajamas, dried off, and got in a circle. For a moment no one spoke. Then Sally broke the silence. “I hate boys.”

"Me too. Such jerks!” said Molly.

“What are we gonna do?” said Luce.

"Tell Becky and Samantha first thing.”

“Yeah. Let them talk to Ronnie. They are so dead.”

“Ronnie won't do squat,” said Pat. Ronnie was the Bunk 7 counselor. He was really nice, and a cool guy but he was probably in on it or at least wouldn't do anything to his “boys”.

“Maybe we tell Dafna.” Dafna was their head counselor, and they liked her and all, but what could she really do?

Soon all the girls were talking at once, giving ideas, basically stressing out and worrying. Then Sally, who had been unusually quiet while everyone was blabbing, spoke up.

“We’re not gonna say anything.”

Everyone got quiet.

“What? Nothing?” asked Luce.

“Sally, they nailed us! They have to pay!” Molly said.

“I didn't say they wouldn't pay. I said, ‘We’re not saying anything.’  The thing the boys want most is to know they ‘got us’. If we don't say anything tomorrow and act like it never happened, it will totally mess with their heads.”

“But we need to get revenge.”

“And we will, oh will we,” Sally said with a mischievous grin.  “But not now. Let ‘em think they are in the clear. Then when the time is right…”

Pat smiled. “Sally’s right. We do nothing, act cool, real cool. Good thinking, Sal.”

“Gather round, sisters,” said Sally. “Tomorrow we start the first phase of operation ‘Revenge on Seven.’ Everybody in?”

All twelve girls put their hands in a circle.

Pat looked everyone in the eye. “On three, ‘Revenge on Seven!’

“One! Two! Three! REVENGE on Seven!!” The girls screamed.

“Hey!” said the safety patrol counselor passing by. “Bunk 20, time for bed!”

The girls all giggled.

Chapter 2: Not So Easy

The next day at flag raising, the girls made sure they were early getting to the main field in front of the dining hall. Becky and Samantha were shocked that their girls, who were always the very last in the camp to arrive at anything, were all dressed and ready to go before they even got out of bed.

“Everything okay, girls?” Becky asked, groggily.

“Sure, sure. All good, all good,” said the girls.  The girls played it, well, cool.

When the boys of Bunk 7 showed up to flag raising expecting to be called names or to have some interaction with the girls, they were surprised to get a reaction at all.

“Hi guys!” shouted Molly.

“Hey ladies, how was your evening?” shouted Mateo. He was their big guy- good at sports, cute. But what a jerk! At least today.

The other boys sort of mimicked Mateo. Gene said, “Hope you dried off okay”. The boys laughed. The girls looked puzzled.

“What are you talking about?” said Pat.

“What are we talking about? What are we talking about? I think you know,” said Bob.

“Actually, we don’t know,” Sally shot back.

“Oh, good one. Nice try,” said Todd, who was clearly getting annoyed.

“You guys are acting weird,” said Luce. “Did something happen that we should know about?”

Now Mateo was confused and annoyed. “I think we all know what happened. We were there, and you were there, and you were soaking wet.” He slapped hands with Bob.

Pat looked concerned. “Nobody got soaking wet last night. We were in bed, it was quiet all night. You’re going crazy. You should go to sick call after breakfast.”

Sally came up to Mateo and gently put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m worried about you.” Then she looked at the boys and said,  “I’m worried about all of you.” She turned her back to the boys and flashed the girls a smile and a wink.

“Hey,” Todd whispered, “This whole, ‘We don’t know what you’re talking about’ isn’t working on us.”  He leaned into the girls so the counselors wouldn’t hear him. “We were there. Under your bunk. You came out, Bam! Water balloon attack.”

“No,” said Sally. “There was no one under our bunk and no one got wet. Seriously, you must have dreamed it.”

Todd looked utterly confused. As he left, he heard the girls giggling.

“They’re just trying to mess with us,” said Gene.

“Yeah”, said Mateo. “Whatever.”

It seemed the girls had robbed the boys of gloating. Phase one of the plan was working.

There was a slight problem: Mateo and Sally were…well, not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend but not exactly just friends, either. And the other thing was that Pam kind of liked Todd, but she also liked Bob, too, sort of, and Luce really thought that Gene was nice. Except now he wasn't so she was confused. Oh, and finally as if that wasn't enough, Samantha, their counselor- she was dating Ronnie for like two years. Drama, drama! And finally: the big social dance was that night, and everyone was freaking out.

Chapter Three: Confused

“What the heck was that?” said Bob, as he shoved a pancake in his mouth.

“I have no clue,” said Mateo. "Pass the Frosted Flakes, will ya?”

“Girls are so weird,” said Gene.

“But it did happen, right?” said Todd. “I mean-“

Mateo cut him off. “Of course, it happened. They’re just messing with us. Playing with our heads.”

A moment of quiet cereal eating passed.

Gene spoke up. “I’m feeling a little bad. I was going to ask Luce to the social tonight but what if she’s secretly pissed?”

“Who cares about the social, go stag,” said Pat.

“What does ‘going stag’ mean?” said Gene.

“It means you go with no date. You don’t need a date,” said Mateo.

“Yeah, but I like Luce. A lot,” said Gene.

“So then ask her, Romeo,” said Pat with a laugh.

Just as he said this Gene noticed Luce get up from her table and head to the bathroom.

“Hey”, said Gene, “I gotta take a leak.”

“You want my permission?” said Mateo. Everyone laughed.

“No…never mind. And don't bojangle my pancake, I’m still eating.”

Gene got up and made his way to the restroom area, just outside the dining hall.

He pretended to be doing something when Luce came out of the girl’s room.

“Hey!”, said Luce, flashing a big smile. “Had to go, huh?”

“Yeah, you know, all that orange juice. Hey, um…you’re not mad about last night, right?”

Luce looked truly puzzled. If they were giving out Oscars for best fake out, she would have won, easy.

“Gene, what is wrong with you? Why would I be mad?” said Luce.

“Oh, just drop the act, okay? Look, I’m sorry, alright? I didn't want to do it. Don't tell anyone or I’m dead, but Mateo and Bob, it was their stupid idea.”

 Luce listened as Gene went on about the plan, and the arguments the boys had about whether to do it or not, and all that stuff. She crossed her arms and nodded her head a lot too, to make it look like she was really interested.

“So, let’s say I believe you—that this water balloon attack did actually happen like you say it did.”

“But it did happen like I say it did!” said Gene.

“Okay, okay, and so in this little scenario, I should be forgiving you?”

“Yes. Yes. Because I’m sorry.”

 Luce kept going. “But since it didn't happen, I have nothing to forgive you for and you have nothing to be sorry for, so everything is fine.”  Luce went back inside, followed by Gene.

“But…urggg!!” Gene went back to the table and the guys were all watching.

“Hey, where’s my pancake?” said Gene.

“Ronnie ate it”. Mateo said.

Ronnie, their counselor, looked up and smiled sheepishly at Gene. “You snooze you lose!”

Later Ronnie went up to Mateo. ‘So, how did “it” go last night?

“Weird…”, said Mateo. “The girls are trying to get in our heads, pretending it didn't happen.”

Ronnie replied, “But it did happen, right? I mean I was fully expecting Samantha to come barging in our cabin this morning. But nothing. So you’re sure it…”

Mateo lost it. “Yes! Yes! It happened! I swear to God! I mean we were all there.” He ran off to join his bunkmates. But there was just the slightest hint of doubt in Mateo’s voice.

Ronnie shrugged and went off looking for Samantha.

Chapter 4: The Big Social.

The whole division - about 60 kids - all got dressed up. Some kids go as couples, some don’t. Mostly everyone just shows up at the dance and hangs out with their friends anyhow. The theme this year was “80’s All the Way.” Some of the music is good, but it’s like old people music. Like older than the counselors! Music that…your parents liked, or even still like! Anyway, all the girls showed up as a group and then sort of all mingled about. But when the boys from Bunk 7 seven showed up you could tell things were…weird. They would kind of look at the girls and then quickly look away, whisper, laugh, and then look at them again. Luce was the first one to try some conversation.

“Hey”, she said to Mateo. “What’s going on?”

Mateo shrugged. “Nothing. Ready to confess?”

“Confess to what?”

“Oh, come on we all know what’s going on. You’re just trying to mess with us.. Aren't you tired of it?”

Molly came up to Mateo, who was quickly joined by his buddies. “Nothing to be tired of,” said Molly.

“OK, fine. Fine!” said Gene. “Come on guys, let’s go talk to the girls in Bunk 23. At least they aren't insane.”

And with that, they left. The girls all slapped hands while the worst song ever recorded, “We Built This City” by ‘Starship’, blasted over the sound system.

Chapter 5: Everyone (Mostly) Forgot

The summer moved on. Mostly everyone forgot about the whole water balloon thing, and the boys from Bunk 7 and the girls from Bunk 20 were all past it and were friends again.

Or so it seemed. Because remember the whole plan was to lure the boys into THINKING the girls had forgotten, that all was well, that the boys would relax. And THAT was when the girls would get the sweet revenge they had talked about weeks before.

And so, on the second to last night of camp, the girls, wearing all black and with flashlights in hand made their way to the boy’s campus. For the whole day the girls had been secretly filling water balloons, hundreds of them, and stocking up on shaving cream that they had managed to have sent up by their unsuspecting parents thinking their sweet, innocent daughters were shaving their legs. Thirty bottles of Gillette Extra Foamy were ready for war.

At around 12:30 AM, the girls arrived at the boy’s cabin just around the time the ‘bunk coverage’ monitors were heading to bed. The girls crept silently to the side of the porch. The bright yellow porch light was still on, so there was no good way to get in without being seen. The girls decided to go for it. They got down as low as they could and made for the door. They burst through the door, and screamed,  “REVENGE!!!”

But no one was there. The bunk was deserted. Or so it seemed.

All of a sudden a dozen flashlights went on from the rafters of the bunk.  It was an ambush!

“Hello, ladies,” said Mateo, with a mischievous grin. “Looking for something?”

“Damn it, Mateo!” Said Molly. “How did you-?”

“Never mind ‘how’ we found out. The point is, you are surrounded. Drop your water balloons and shaving cream and maybe we can forget this. Or prepare for battle.”

Molly looked at Pat, and Pat looked at Luce and Luce looked at Molly who looked at all the girls.

“REVENGE!!!!!!!” And it was on.  The girls turned the lights on. The first water balloons made contact with the boys. Some didn't explode and ended up being thrown back at the girls. There was screaming and shouting and laughing, and soon the bunk next door was up and trying to peek inside.

Then everything went crazy. Girls from bunks 17,18, 19, who had all heard about the revenge on seven (they saw them making the water balloons and were sworn to secrecy) had planned to act as backup for Bunk 20 in case things went sideways. Soon enough those girls, armed with tennis ball canisters and buckets full of ice-cold water, not to mention their own shaving cream, came racing over to boys campus. More boys were awake too now and soon the whole boy’s campus was awash in soaked boys and girls, screaming, laughing, and spraying shaving cream everywhere.

And where, might you ask, was the staff during this craziness?
All of them were at the end-of-year staff party in the big hall clear across campus. Now, there were supposed to be two head monitors, one for each campus who were supposed to be on their respective fields, walkie-talkies in hand, to make sure everything was quiet. But guess what? Those two were Ronnie and Samantha, who had conveniently worked it out that they would be alone together on campus watch, and they were off in a totally different part of camp. In fact, they had both fallen asleep in one of the gazebo’s just beyond the center of camp.  

Hearing the faint sounds of screaming and shrieking, Samantha woke up. “Is that…boys campus?” she to Ronnie.

Ronnie sat up and scratched his head.  He froze. “Oh shit. Get up!”

They had turned their walkie-talkies off earlier but clicked them on to hear a volley of shouts and screams. “This is Ronnie, can I talk to Larry?” Larry was the head of the camp, he was barely older than the senior counselors, he wore cut-off shorts and sandals, and carried himself like one of the gang. He was beloved for that but didn’t quite run a tight ship.

“This is Larry. Where are you, Ron?”

“Um, I think we need every counselor on boys campus. There’s a battle royale exploding over here.”

Larry took a deep sigh. ‘Oh boy. Be right there.” Larry was a great guy but this was not going to be pretty. By this point, the entire hill was covered with campers- from the youngest to the oldest. Everyone was in on it. You could hardly tell who started it, who was an innocent victim, and who was trying to get more people involved. It was the middle of the night, and you could barely see. Someone had the cool idea to start blasting music from Dr. Dre from their porch! What started as a simple revenge plot against one bunk had turned into an epic, winner-take-all, full-camp battle, the greatest the camp had ever seen.

In all the craziness, somehow Mateo, Luce, Gene, Pat, Molly, and Bob all ended up in the same area.

“How does it feel, boys?” Pat said, covered in shaving cream and soaked.

“Actually, it feels awesome! You girls just started the most incredible all-camp water shaving cream fight!”

“Yeah, we did. We did!” said Molly. “But how did you know we were coming?”

“We didn’t,” said Gene. “We’ve been sleeping in the rafters for two weeks, just in case.

They all cracked up.

“So we’re even then?” said Bob.

Luce spoke up, “Even for what?” She smiled and they all slapped hands, just as a trash can full of ice-cold water came crashing down on all of them.

“Ronnie!!!!”, cried Gene.

Ronnie had the biggest grin on his face. “You didn't even invite us?” he shouted.

“Us?” said Luce.

As she said this up from behind came Samantha with two huge globs of shaving cream and splattered it all over the girls.”

“It is so on!” shouted Molly, who ran to refill her bucket.

Soon the entire staff was in on it- nearly the entire camp- kids and staff, all soaking wet, covered in shaving cream, having the time of their lives!

Driving in on his golf cart, Larry the director finally arrived to survey the scene. He just could not believe it.  It was epic. Everyone in camp seemed to be involved. Janis, Larry’s assistant, handed him a megaphone.

“Stop what you are doing!” he bellowed. Someone turned off the music. “This is a direct order! Everyone freeze in their place!” And eventually, everyone did. “If you are holding a shaving cream can, or bucket, or water balloon, drop it. Now!” Eventually, everyone did. “Girls. Return to your campus. Now. Lights out. Boys: Back to your bunks. Now. Counselors in your bunks. Now.” And slowly, wet-ly, and full of shaving cream-ly, they all did.

The next day at breakfast, Larry got up to speak to the whole camp. “Last night, could have ended badly. Thank God, no one got hurt. Now we don't know how it started, and we don't know how it got so out of hand. But let this be a lesson to everyone: We don't tolerate this kind of behavior at camp. And so, I am ordering camp to shut down for the season, effective at 7 AM tomorrow morning.”

There was a slight pause. All at once, everyone realized that Larry was simply saying that there was no punishment and that camp would end, as planned the next day.

“I hope you all learned your lesson.” He paused, letting his ‘decision’ sink in. “Have a great last day everyone!”

The whole camp cheered and screamed, “Larry! Larry! Larry!”.

Larry leaned over to Janis, ‘I’ll never admit this publicly, but that was the single greatest thing that ever happened at camp. Those kids will never forget this as long as they live.” He took a big swig of orange juice. “So how did this all start, anyhow?” Janis shrugged. She had no idea. No one did. Well, not no one.

Way over in the corner of the dining hall, Luce, Molly, Pat, and the girls of bunk 20 sat and smiled. They looked over to the boys of bunk 7 who smiled right back.

Many years later, those same kids would be counselors at that same camp. Rules were much tighter. Raids? Never. Water fights? Outlawed. But the story of revenge on seven and the epic, never to be repeated in the history of camp all-out water shaving cream fight would take on mythological status as it was retold to future generations, as it is being retold to you, right now. It really was the night no one would ever forget.